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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Could it be true love?

Hello Fast Life family,

It's been a while since I checked in. I want to say hello and take this time to share another chapter with you from The UnMarritable. It's close to Christmas and I am not able to share the entire book with you. I want to make sure it is perfect before I release it to you. However, here is another chapter from the book I want to share with you. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to share your views with me. The only way to make it better is to hear from those who support me. I don't care if it's good or bad; I want to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your views.

Could it be true Love - Chapter 17


The sun is starting to go down, and we are still relaxing in the quiet spot, alone, on the deck. Not saying much to one another, but admiring the beauty God has created and enjoying the time we are spending together. I am extremely relaxed; Tyrone can't tell if I am quiet or sleep. Tyrone asks; if I am okay. I tell him; I am great and why he asks. He laughs and says, “because baby; you were snoring, and I am making sure you didn't want to go lay down.” I start to laugh. I know; I am extremely relaxed; especially, if I was snoring. I tell Tyrone; to let's have one more drink, and then yes I want to lay down for an hour; before we get ready for dinner.
Tyrone asks; if I made plans for dinner. I am not sure why he is asking, when he already knows I made plans for us earlier when we were at lunch. Then I remember; I have not told him about us having dinner with Carmen and her boyfriend. I start to laugh, and he asks; if I am okay. I tell him; I forgot to tell him; my husband and I were invited to have dinner with Carmen and her boyfriend. He laughs and says, “your husband, huh?” “Yes my husband and I.” He says okay and order us another round of drinks, before we head in for a little while to relax.
I continue to enjoy the scenery, while I wait for Tyrone, to bring the drinks. He hands my drink and sits down. We talk some more and have a wonderful time; just him and I.
I never knew, how much fun it could be, to sit with someone and have a pleasant conversation, without talking about much. The two of you enjoy one another and can feel and understand each other.
We head towards the room, so I can lay down for an hour, before we head to dinner.
When we walk in the door, the room is filled with my favorite flowers. It smells like fresh tulips, and a hint of jasmine all through the room. I start to smile and turn to look at Tyrone. I say thank you. He says; a simple you're welcome, and bows to me. I have never had a man do this for me, or bow to me. I've seen it happen in the movies. Well, the old movies anyway; when there was true love, and everybody wanted it or had it.
I start to pull off my dress; Tyrone walks up to me and says; to allow him to do that for me. I allow him to unzip me, and he slides it off. Before it hits the ground, he grabs it, fold it, and lays it on the chair. I get ready to sit on the bed, but before I do; Tyrone pulls the covers back for me and tells me to get in the bed. I get in the bed and tell him, to don't let me over sleep. He grabs the clock and says; he is setting the alarm. He sits in the chair next to me, turns on the television and turns it low, so I can barely hear it. He leans over, kisses me on the forehead, and tells me to get some rest. I ask; if he is going to join me. He looks at me and says; maybe later. I look at him, say okay and close my eyes. Before I know, I am fast asleep.
I turn over, thinking maybe Tyrone has come to bed and joined me, but he is not here. I look to see if I can see where he has gone, and he is sitting in the chair starring at me. I jump; it makes me nervous to see Tyrone starring at me. He laughs and says, “you were looking for me, weren't you?” I smile and say, “yes.” He tells me; he hasn't left my side. He has been sitting in the chair, watching me sleep. I ask; why he has been starring at me? He says; he wasn't starring; he was admiring my beauty and all the greatness about me. I sit up in the bed and start to smile. He tells me; I still have ten minutes and to lay here and not move. I ask him to come get in bed with me. He takes off his shoes and join me. He tells me to come here, and I rest my head on his chest. Before I know it, I am sleep again.
The way Tyrone makes me feel is amazing, and I hope it never ends. I am anxious, to see what else this man has in store for me. If it's like this, I definitely want to stay on this ride.
I vaguely hear the alarm going off. I don't want to get up; I am very comfortable. I see I am not the only one who is comfortable; Tyrone has fell asleep, as well. I ask Tyrone; if he wants to get up. He opens one eye and says; not really, but since I told Carmen we would have dinner and drinks; that's exactly, what we are going to do; because I am a superstar now, and I can't make my image look bad. I start to laugh, tell him to get up, and stop playing.
We play around and wrestle, before we get up to get dressed. Tyrone looks at me and says; I am his Queen, and he is honored to be in my presence. I don't know what to say; no man has ever said this to me. I lean over, kiss him gently, and tell him; I love him too. He smiles and tells me to go get dressed.
I jump up, and go jump in the shower. This is normally when Tyrone comes to join me; we make love, and then head out; but he is not coming to join me and I am not sure what this is all about. I finish taking my shower and get out. While I am putting on my makeup, brushing my teeth and doing my hair; Tyrone jumps in the shower and starts to get dressed. He can tell there is something wrong with me, but he is playing it cool. I notice; we are doing it his way. I remind myself; I said I would be open to doing things his way. I am going to let things flow; instead of trying to be in control of everything. We finish getting dressed, and Tyrone tells me how beautiful I look. I tell Tyrone he looks very handsome, and we head out the door.
We get to the restaurant, and Carmen and her boyfriend have already got us a table. She stands up, and waves at us; so we can see her. Tyrone and I put on our smiles and walk over to the table. Carmen says; she is glad we made it, and they ordered a bottle of wine. Carmen introduces us to her boyfriend Jamal. Jamal shakes Tyrone hand and tells us to have a seat. You can tell Jamal isn't thrilled he has to be here, but he is doing it for her. He looks at me and says; thank you for taking care of my ole lady earlier. Then he says; she can get out of control sometimes. I look at him and say; no problem, but Tyrone can see this is making me uncomfortable, and Carmen embarrassed. I want to say something to him, but it's not my place. Plus I don't want to get in anyone's business.
Tyrone changes the subject and asks Jamal; what he does for a living. Jamal tells Tyrone; he does a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and he knows how it is.
This is how I know Tyrone is a man about his. He looks at Jamal and says, “no, I don't know how it is. I am a broker, have my own company, and doing quite well for myself; so no, I don't know what a little bit of this, and a little bit of that is.” Jamal looks at Tyrone and sits up in his chair. He wants to say something, but he's not quite sure what to say. He starts to laugh and tells Tyrone; he don't know him. Tyrone looks at him and says, “you're right, my brother; I don't know you; because you don't know yourself.” Jamal is not happy, but he thinks about what Tyrone has said to him.
Carmen and I talk about what she does, and what she wants to do. She tells me; she is a beautician and wants to open up her own business. I tell her; she can do it if she wants, but she has to let go of the dead weight. She looks at me and says; I am right, and she plans to do that.
The entire time we are talking, Jamal never realizes the dead weight we are talking about is him. Tyrone talks to Jamal, so he doesn't feel uncomfortable and out of place. Before I know it, dinner is going better than expected. By the end of the night, we are laughing and having a great time. For the first time, Carmen has seen something in Jamal she has never seen in him. Hanging out with them tonight, has made me realize; I am one lucky woman.
We finish our night out, and Tyrone and I say our good nights and head in for the evening. We get back to the room, have a night cap, and talk about the events of the night.
Tyrone tells me; tonight made him see why so many people love me, and so many people hate me. He says; I am a great person, and never change who I am for anyone. As we talk, Tyrone is getting me comfortable. I haven't lifted a finger or did a thing, and I sit here with my pajamas on and a drink in my hand. This is nice and very unusual for me. He sits in the chair next to me, and we enjoy each other company.
Six o'clock in the morning and we are still laughing and talking about everything. This man is listening to me, and I am listening to him. He is sharing intimate moments with me, and I am sharing intimate moments with him. We are on the same page; he is not judging me, and I am not judging him. This is a great feeling.
I am sleepy, but I feel hungry. I ask Tyrone if he is hungry. He says; he is kinda hungry, and could eat something. Before I can ask what he wants to eat, he is already ordering breakfast.
We go out on the deck, and watch the sun rise; while we wait, on our food to arrive. He holds me gently, as we listen to the waves and the birds chirp. I am having a great time and enjoying myself. I think to myself...Who would've thought things would turn out this good? Then I remember; God knew the entire time.
I lay in his arms and close my eyes. He can tell I am trying to be as close to him, as I can. Without saying a word, he pulls me in as close to him as he can, wraps his arms around me, kisses me on the forehead and says; I love you baby. I look up at him and say those three magical words again and again and again. I can't believe; I have actually said it more than once, and meant it. This man has my attention, and I want to know everything about him. I know a lot, but now we are connected on a deeper level. He is showing me things no other man has ever shown me, and I love every bit of it.
The food comes and Tyrone tips the waiter. He fixes our plate and tells me to come sit down. He pulls my chair out for me, and I sit down. He has already buttered my toast, put butter and sugar in my grits and poured my juice. I am impressed and loving it.
Tyrone is sweet to me when we are at home, but this right here; shows me; he is stepping his game up one hundred and ten percent. I thought I was already spoiled, but now I am really being spoiled, and treated as I should be treated. Like the Queen, I am.
We sit and talk over breakfast; while the sun, continues to find the sky. We are talking, laughing, joking and playing as if this is our first date and we just met each other. Tyrone asks; if I would like to take a shower or a bath and I tell him neither. I just want to go to sleep. He laughs and says, “good; I am glad, I am not the only one.” I start to laugh; he is crazy. We get in the bed; Tyrone kisses me and says goodnight.
I am surprised; he is still not trying to jump my bones, but that's cool with me; I am extremely tired right now, and just want some sleep. I turn over and get comfortable with my man. We cuddle till we fall fast asleep.
Waking up in the middle of the night, startled from a bad dream has made me nervous. It felt as if it was so surreal. Tyrone feels me jump and asks; if I am okay. I want to say yes, but I am not sure. It's as if I am still in a daze. I am not sure if I am in or out of this crazy dream. Tyrone holds me and says; everything is okay; no one will hurt me ever again. I feel the warmth of him, and I start to cry. He holds me and kisses me gently; until I start to feel better. I am not sure what happened, but it was as if Tyrone could feel what I was going through, and wasn't even there. I start to question, if this is possible. If it is possible, does this mean this man is connected to my spirit and my soul?
I start to cry again, and Tyrone continues to hold me. He lays me down and tells me to go back to sleep. I lay down on his chest, and feel the warmth and comfort of his arms. I can hear his heart beat, and notice it is beating in tune with mine. They are beating as one. I have never paid any attention to it, until now. As I listen to his heart beat, I start to calm down and relax. Ten minutes later, I am back to sleep. I sleep straight through, with no problems.
I wake up, to see Tyrone sitting in the chair, starring at me again. I sit up and say good morning. He starts to laugh and says; it's more like good evening. I jump up as if I have somewhere to go, and start running around. He laughs at me and asks; where I am going. I realize I am on vacation; I don't have to be in a hurry, to do anything. I start to laugh, but tell him; it's not funny, and he shouldn't laugh at an overstressed, overwork woman who is doing the best she can. He laughs and says; You are right, so why don't an overstressed, overworked woman come join him and have a seat. I walk over to him; he grabs my hand, and pulls me close to him. He sits me on his lap and tells me how beautiful I am, and how lucky he is to have found me. He tells me; he has been searching high and low looking for me, and the moment he saw me; he knew right away, I was the one for him. I feel like a high school girl again. No man has ever made me feel like this.
As we sit and talk, I ask; if there is anything he would like to do for the evening. He tells me; we are going to order in, and watch movies together; or we can go out on the deck, and watch movies under the moonlight. They both sound good, but I am going to take the one I haven't done before, and that's watch movies on the deck, under the stars, in the middle of the ocean.
Tomorrow, we pull in on land; we will get off and do some shopping and sight seeing. I hope we are not one of those couples who gets left on shore, and no one thinks to look for us.
Right now, I am not going to worry about that. I am going to get myself ready for the movie, and enjoy this sexy, chocolate man who is sharing this beautiful moment with me.
We get dressed and head towards the deck. On the way to the deck, we see Carmen and Jamal.
“Hey girl,” she says.
I tried to keep walking as if I didn't see or hear her, but instead she starts walking my way. Tyrone laughs and under his breath says, “here comes your girlfriend.” I squeeze his hand, as tight as I can, to let him what he said is not funny. He buckles for a slight moment but keeps his smile on his face.
Carmen asks; where we are headed. We tell her; we are headed to go watch a movie. She tells us; it sounds nice, but her and Jamal are going to the lounge to grab a bite to eat and have some drinks. I tell her that is nice, and for them to enjoy themselves. I turn to walk away and she asks if we are sure we would rather watch some boring ass movie; instead of hanging out with them. I see she has missed the point clearly.
I explain to Carmen; it is not that we don't want to hang out, but right now we are getting our alone time. Carmen winks at me and says; she understands. I see she is still missing the point, and there is no reason for me to continue to explain something to her; she is never going to get, until she gets my age and go through the things most women have already experienced.
I tell Carmen; we will catch her later, and proceed to head towards the deck. Tyrone is laughing like crazy; he can't believe how I just did her. I was not trying to be rude, but I did not come on this vacation, to meet friends or throw my fame around. I came on this vacation because I needed to relax and spend some alone time with my man. After I explain myself to Tyrone, he says; he completely understand; he is not going anywhere, and we can do whatever I want to do. If that means hanging with Carmen and Jamal, then so be it. I laugh; he has plenty of jokes. He says; he is not being funny, but wants me to know; whatever I want to do, he is game.
I love the fact he wants to compromise, although he said we were going to do things his way. He is showing me; he is not letting me give up my control, and he is still allowing me to be me.
Letting Tyrone know, I want to go watch a movie on the big screen,
on the deck, in the middle of the ocean with him; He looks at me, grabs my hand and takes off running. I am not expecting us to do any running; it throws me off guard now that we are running down this hall way. We get to the deck, and the movie has not started yet, but they are telling people to find a seat. Tyrone spots us some excellent seats. We are in the back, close to the rail, in a corner, with a table. We are between the bar and the table. It is a great spot. We can see the screen well, relax comfortably, get us a drink without having to get up or wait on a waiter/waitress, to come to us, and no one can see us; if we do start to do some hanky panky.
Tyrone asks; if this is a good spot, or if I want to move somewhere else. Before he can get it out good enough, I have already sat down, and I am waiting for him to sit down.
The bartender leans over, and ask what we would like to drink. Tyrone orders our drinks and the bartender tells us; we have the best seats in the house. We are glad to know we have the best seats. This is going to be a lovely evening. Our bartender is cool, and everything is perfect.
The deck fill up with people. The advertising comes on the screen, telling everyone where to go; should there be an emergency, or if we need something to drink or eat. I see the waiters and waitresses running around trying to get everybody order. It's a good thing; we are close to the bar, and we have already put in our order. The bartender just handed us our drinks and told us the food will be out in about five or ten minutes. He gives us chips, salsa, and a bowl of queso; while we wait on our food and enjoy the movie.
Right before, the movie is about to start, I hear somebody calling my name. I can tell by the voice who it is, but because where we are sitting, she can't see us. I don't stand up, to show her where we are. I hear her tell Jamal; she is trying to find us, so they can sit with us. I tell Tyrone to hold his head down, and keep the menu in front of us; so they don't spot us. He laughs and says; he has never had to go undercover. I laugh and say; we are not undercover; we are just hiding. He laughs and says; that's even worse. Once I think about it, I know he is right, but right now I don't feel like being bothered, and I want to spend my time with my man. I don't want to double date.
Maybe, I am being a little selfish; when I know this is what I do. I help women become better individuals, and make better decisions in life. The thing that gets me the most is; once I meet them, they cling to me. Sometimes that is okay, but there are times I need my space.
I see Carmen and Jamal standing in front of us, really looking. She never turns around. Instead, she says; “maybe they changed their mind and decided to do something else”. I am glad she thinks like this; now she will stop looking for us. She turns, walk away, and Jamal is right behind her; looking like a lost puppy, and ready to curse her out at the same time.
Tyrone asks; if the coast is clear. I tell him; he can put the menu down. He laughs and says; that was a close call. We start to laugh and get ready for our movie. All the lights go out; except for the little light the bartender has to see with, and the light from the projector screen. I hear the sound of the night, but it is pitch black. The movie is about to start, and no one knows what's about to show. We ask the bartender, what movie they are about to show. He tells us; he is not sure. Every night they show a different movie, and he is not sure what is in the line up for this week. Tyrone looks at me, and I look at him. We start to laugh; now, we really can't wait to see what they are going to show.
The waiters and waitresses are almost finished serving the food, and the movie is starting to roll. We are watching, but we are still not sure what movie we are about to see. We hope it is something good. Than, we realize they are about to show us The Titanic. Tyrone and I both bust out laughing and say, “Oh hell naw. We are not about to watch Titanic”. The bartender starts to laugh and tells us; the next drink is on him if we stay and keep him company.
Once, the other patrons realize we are about to watch the Titanic; a lot of people start to get up, and go other places. Because the majority of
the people are starting to leave, we decide we will stay and hang out with the bartender.
We find out Kemper is from Jamaica, and has been working for the cruise line for five years. He tells us; he is putting himself through school, and how important it is for him to finish and get his degree. He will be the first in his family, to go to college. He starts to tell us about his culture and his family. He also tells us; he sends his family money every check he gets, and solely relies on tips to live. His story is touching and sad at the same time. I can tell; Tyrone and I are thinking the same thing. Instead of saying anything, Tyrone reaches in his pocket and gives him one thousand dollars; tells him to take care of himself, and go buy him something nice. Kemper is excited, appreciative, and hesitant to take it at the same time. Kemper tells Tyrone; he doesn't want his money; he is just enjoying having someone to talk to, who is not all tight and stuffy. Tyrone assures him; it is okay for him to take it. Kemper is still not taking the money. Instead, Tyrone tells him; he will not fuss or fight with him. Instead, Tyrone puts the money in the tip jar that has Kemper name on it. Kemper thanks Tyrone with a handshake, and then realizes the handshake is not enough. He gives Tyrone the biggest hug and says; he will never forget him. Tyrone gives Kemper his number and tells him; he can call him to talk sometimes if he needs. Kemper looks at Tyrone with a smile and says; he will surely do that. He fixes us another round of drinks he has come up with and tells us to relax and enjoy the evening.
Tyrone looks at me, and I give him that you are the best smile. He leans over, kisses me and says; I am the best, and he is glad we are together. I tell him; he is the best, and thank you for being so loving and caring. He lets me know, he is just being him. I know he is one of a kind, and he is here with me.
We enjoy the rest of the night, with good conversation and no unnecessary drama. Sitting here talking to Kemper, and enjoying the night with Tyrone has made me realize how far I have come and how blessed I truly am. Not in a million years would I have thought, I was worthy of a man as sweet, kind, gentle, compassionate, lovable, understanding, funny, strong, sensitive, and smart as the man I have next to me.
I know I have to open myself up, to receive love again. Yes, at first I was scared and very nervous; although this man has showed me nothing but the up most respect and love. I have tried time and time again, to find a reason to give this man my love, or myself, and time and time again he has proven to me that he will not give up, and will not change the way he feels about me.
Part of me, wants to tell him to ask me to marry him again, but part of me wants to ask him to marry me. Of course, I have that strong part I continue to fight with, as most women do, telling me to don't do either. To continue to live the way we are living, and enjoy the moment; because marriage just complicates things.
Maybe, this is why I am still the unmarritable. I continue to tell myself, something is wrong, and they will mess up; instead of taking a chance. I have
told many I would marry them, but part of me was hoping they would do something, to make me want to get out of it. Fortunately for me, it worked out great; they all turned out to be straight jackasses. I don't think any of them truly loved me, until I was gone and then they realized how much I meant to them. Am I blocking myself from this precious man? Maybe, I am waiting for the right time. Yes, I am protecting myself from being hurt. Maybe, these are the excuses I keep telling myself. I don't know what the problem may be, but I do know; I have to figure it out and figure it out soon.
I don't want Tyrone to wait on me forever, and I don't want to make him feel as if I am not sure if I love him or not, either. My heart and soul tells me; I love him, but my head is telling me to be cautious. These are the moments I wish I could talk to my girls. Only if, the prices weren't so high out here, I probably would.
Tyrone and Kemper are caught up in the discussion; he hadn't noticed I wasn't listening to him, until he starts asking me questions. I am caught up in my thoughts; I don't hear Tyrone calling my name. After the third time, of saying my name, he shakes me and asks; if I am okay. I am startled by the shake, but start to smile. Tyrone asks; if I am drunk. I tell him; I am not drunk yet, but almost. He laughs and asks; if I would like to have one more drink, before the bar close. I tell him; I would love to have another drink. Tyrone tells the bartender to fix me something else. Kemper says; he is going to fix us something so good and so strong; we will have to take them to go. I start to laugh; now, I am worried about what he is putting in this drink.
We watch Kemper as he fixes our drinks. I notice; he put vodka, triple sec, silver 1800, coconut rum, orange juice and a splash of cranberry juice. Watching him make this drink, is making me drunk as hell. I lean over and tell Tyrone; I am not going to start drinking that until I get to the room. Kemper says; to do just that because the Jamaican punch will definitely knock you out.
Kemper shakes the ingredients well and pours it into a couple of tall glasses. These are not your ordinary tall glasses. These are extremely tall
glasses. This is definitely a lot to drink. Kemper dresses up the glass with a pineapple and strawberry slice and a cute umbrella and tell us to enjoy. I take a sip of it, and it has a kick to it, but is extremely good. After one sip; I can feel it working. I am nervous about taking another sip, although I want to drink this entire glass. Kemper is trying to convince me to take another sip, while Tyrone is sitting here laughing and watching, to see if I am going to take another sip. I look at them, say; I'm cool and about to call it a night. They both start to laugh, give each other fives, and say there goodbyes till the next day. As we are on our way out, we hear Kemper say, “Enjoy and don't do anything I wouldn't do”. Tyrone turns around and says; we will try not to, but I can't make any promises. Kemper laughs and shuts the door; so he can clean up the area for the next day.
We are on our way to the room, and I feel like dancing, and making sweet, passionate love to my man.
Although, this is what I want to do; I remember; we are doing things
his way. Instead of going all in; I wait, to see what he has in store for us.
We pass by the night club, and they are still jamming. I stop to see what they are playing, and see if I want to go dancing or if I want to go to the room. I hear a song I like, playing and I am about to go inside. Before I open the door, something comes over me and tells me; Carmen and Jamal is in there. I stop in mid stride; right now, I don't feel like putting up with them. I am tipsy and feeling good; I would like to keep it that way.
I turn around and head towards the room. Tyrone asks why I turned away, and if I am ready to head back to the room. I tell Tyrone; I don't want to go in the club, because something tells me; Carmen and Jamal are in there. He laughs and says; I am probably right. We head towards the room.
We get to the room, and I am not sure what to expect; but to my surprise Tyrone does the same thing he did last night. He gets me comfortable, then he gets himself comfortable, and we sit and enjoy each other company.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying I don't enjoy his company, but right now I am in the mood, to make love to him over and over again. I want to ask him, but I can't. I told Tyrone we would try things his way. Now I hate I opened my big mouth and said anything.
I chuckle, and Tyrone asks if I would care to share. I am too embarrassed to share with him what I am thinking; so I made up something, out the blue. He kinda chuckled, but I can tell he is not buying it, but he is going with the flow. I change the subject real fast and ask if there is anything he wants to do, while we are docked. He says; there are a few things he has planned for us, so I need to get my rest. I tell Tyrone I will go to sleep, after I finish the rest of my Jamaican punch. He laughs, shakes his head, and says; “whatever my Queen wants”. I continue to sip on my drink, and we continue to enjoy each other company.
Tyrone finishes his drink first and waits on me, to finish mine. I want to gulp it down real quick, but I can't; it is entirely too strong for little ole me.
Tyrone can tell I am trying to hurry up and drink it. He laughs and tells me to slow down; we are not in a hurry. I want to tell him; I am, but then I remember; we are doing things his way. I have to keep telling myself this over and over; I want to do things my way, and I see it is not working for me. This time, I am going to try it his way and see if it works out better for me. Maybe, I will learn or take something from this experience. Only time will tell.
Tyrone tells me to slow down and take my time; he doesn't want me to be drunk or have a hangover in the morning. I start to laugh; I know this is true. He knows me oh so well. I slow down, continue to sip my drink the way I was, and enjoy the conversation with my man.
While we are talking, he gets on the floor, grab my feet, and start massaging my feet; without missing a word or a beat. I am starring at him; part of me is in awe. The fact that he is doing this, the way he did it, and he is still showing me that he is paying attention to every word I say.
We continue to talk, I enjoy the massage he is giving me, and sip on my Jamaican Punch. Right now, I feel as if I am in heaven. I have forgotten I want to make love to him. I feel as if I have had a multiple orgasm, and never took my clothes off. Who would've known, a foot massage could feel so damn good.

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Friday, July 27, 2012

Author Tivona Elliot 07/27 by Sisterhoods Connections | Blog Talk Radio

Author Tivona Elliot 07/27 by Sisterhoods Connections | Blog Talk Radio

Come join me this evening and get to know me on a more personal level.  I will be answering your questions; so please feel free to call in and talk to me.  I am excited to hear from each and everyone of you.  Make sure you are tuned in this evening at 7pm CST. You don't want to miss this exclusive interview tonight on An Author Speaks.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me since day one.  You have watched me grown as an author over the last couple years. It has been a struggle, but thank you for hanging in there with me. Thank you for keeping me motivated and encouraged.  I can't forget about all my new family who has reached out to me and encouraged me just as much.  I am truly humbled to have so many supporters, when so many said I couldn't do it.  I am honored by the Sisterhoods Connections team for allowing me to be on their show and sharing my story with each and everyone of you. This is truly a blessing.  Before I get teary eyed; I'm going to stop here. Please make sure you don't forget to tune in tonight at 7pm CST. Set your alarms on your phone, tv, computer, radio etc. cause you don't want to miss this show tonight. I'm going all in. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it..... See you tonight.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Chapter 1 The UnMarritable

Good evening Fast Life life. I know it's been a while since I've posted, but there have many bumps in the road. I want to thank each and everyone of you for supporting me.

A quick update on what's going on.  The UnMarritable will be dropping in June. I don't have an exact date yet, but I will definitely let you know.  You can also look forward to the remake of Livin' the Fast Life in July or August. This summer is going to be Fiyah. Please stay tuned, support, spread the word, and grab your copies.

I have redone the beginning of The UnMarritable, and I want to know your views. Here is the complete first chapter. Thank you for your support.


It is every girl dream to be married at least once in her life, to live the Cinderella fantasy. I always thought I would be the first one married; before my brothers and sisters and most of my cousins, but life had something else in store for me.
Friday night getting dressed, and I am getting ready to go to the hottest party in town. It's a black and white ball, and I have been invited. This is the ball where only the elite will be attending. I have been dreaming about coming to this ball since I was a little girl. Now it's time for me to shine and show them who I am. Not excited about going to the biggest ball of the year alone; however, I am excited about being invited. Finally, it's my time to shine. I can't allow anything to stop me from enjoying this moment. The moment I have been waiting on my entire life.
I turn on the radio, to find a station playing the quiet storm. Continuing to go through the stations, I don't find anything else that can compete with the quiet storm; Not finding anything else on I go back to the last station. I get back to the station and can hear the sound of Luther. Now I am ready to take a nice, hot bubble bath. I'm soaking in the tub and can vaguely hear the phone ringing. I think to myself, whoever it is can leave a message. Right now I want to relax and enjoy this moment of serenity.
Relaxing in the tub for an hour, I get out, dry off and see if anyone important were calling. While checking to see who was calling, I hear the doorbell ringing. I know I am not expecting any company until tomorrow. Someone is starting to ring my doorbell off the hook, and it is driving me crazy. I slip on my robe, run down the stairs, to see who it is. I look out and see this man with a hat standing on my door. I open the door and ask if there is something I can do for him. He turns around, gives me a slight grin and ask if I am Kenya Gardner. Hesitant at first I ask him what is his business. He says he is the limo driver, and ready to take me to the ball. I start to laugh because I wasn't sure who he was. He was about to get whacked upside the head, hadn't he identified himself. I apologize to the driver for losing track of time and politely ask if he can give me about twenty minutes. The Limo driver gives me a slight grin and says, “no problem I will give you thirty.” I start to laugh and then he says, “no offense ma'am; I have four sisters and a mother, and they are never on time.” I start to laugh and thank the gentleman for understanding. I shut the door, and head upstairs to finish getting dressed. I am trying to get dressed as fast as I can, but also make sure I am looking my best. I don't want anything out of place. Something tells me tonight is the night, and I have to be at my best.
I check my dress to make sure it's fitting right, and my makeup is flawless. I know I look good as hell, and dare someone to say I'm not. Opening the door, ready to go to the ball; the limo driver is standing outside smoking a cigarette. He turns around, and the cigarette drops right out of his mouth. Now I know, I look good as hell and ready to turn heads. He opens the door for me, and I get in the car. I pour me a drink to calm my nerves on the way to the ball. I am nervous and excited at the same time. The limo driver is talking to me which is calming my nerves just a little bit. We pull up at the ball, and people are every where. The Limo driver says we have VIP service, and to hold on; we have to wait in line. This is amazing to me. I get to walk down the red carpet, and people will be taking my picture as I get out the limo. Two more cars and then it's showtime. I do a check over and make sure that everything is still looking good, and don't have lipstick on my teeth. The Limo driver can see how nervous I am. He tells me to calm down, and I will be fine. He walks me through how things will go and tells me to don't worry about anything. I follow his lead and take a deep breath. He runs around the car and opens my door. There are people and cameras everywhere. He puts out his hand and helps me out the car. I grab my gown to make sure that I don't fall or trip in front of all these cameras. I get out the car; so far so good. I smile and wave as people are asking me questions. I walk down the red carpet and answer questions looking good as I want to be.
Being at the ball is more than I ever imagined it to be. This is absolutely beautiful, but I wish I wasn't by myself. It's moments like these that I hate being single. You never want to share special moments like these alone. I might be alone tonight, but I'm going to enjoy myself and flirt until I can't flirt any more.
The closer I get to the door, I can see someone who looks a lot like Calvin. I pray it's not him. Calvin is a likable guy, but can be annoying as hell and has this way of getting on my last nerves. Tonight is my night, and I look my best; I will not allow Calvin to ruin my evening. No matter what, I would rather be here alone then here with Calvin. The closer I get to the door, I can tell it is Calvin. Maybe if I look to my right, and keep walking he won't bother me. If he says something, I can tell Calvin I didn't see him. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to be bothered with him tonight. This is the reason I came alone and didn't have him pick me up, when he asked could he escort me, a few days ago.
Five feet away from Calvin, and I'm trying to act like I don't see him. Of course, Calvin is not going to allow me to walk by him without speaking. He grabs my arm and says, he didn't think I was ever going to make it. I look at him because I can't understand why he thought that, when I simply told Calvin I would be here. I refuse to allow him to ruin my evening. I look at him and give him a slight smirk and tell him that I'm here and try to walk off. Calvin asks me to hold on while grabbing my arm. I ask Calvin what is his problem and why he keeps grabbing me. Calvin looks at me and tells me that I must not understand what he is saying. I start to laugh and tell him that I never understand what he says, but he can let go of my arm now. Calvin starts to laugh and tells me to quit playing. I give Calvin the look to let him know that I am not playing especially right now. Calvin tells me that he is present to escort me to the ball, and there is no way a lady as beautiful as me should walk in there alone. I start laughing hysterically. Continuing to laugh, I have to let Calvin know what time it is. I pull my arm back and explain to Calvin why I am walking into this ball alone. Not only why I am walking in alone, but why we are not going to argue about what I'm doing. Calvin starts looking around as if I am embarrassing him. Continuing to laugh, I walk off and leave Calvin standing right where he is. I know he is tripping if he thinks for one minute that I am going to allow him to escort me to this event, or any other event for that matter. The last thing I want is for people to think we are a couple. I know Calvin likes me, but he has never gotten up enough courage to come at me as a real man should. Maybe it's because he knows that we can only be friends. Every now and then he will try to act as if he's my boyfriend, but only when it's convenient for him. When he feels like someone is trying to get at me that's when he wants to act like we are together, but when he sees someone he wants to holler at then we are business partners. No matter what, at the end of the day, we can only be friends. Being rejected so many times, you would think he would give up. I guess that's the true meaning of keeping hope alive.
Walking in the ball, dress to impress; I feel all eyes are on me. I know I have it going on, and no one can tell me differently. I have on a long black dress cut low in the back, diamonds going across the swoop, a swoop neck in the front where it shows just enough cleavage. I am rocking this cold pair of black stiletto pumps with the diamonds on the side and going down the heel. Looking my best and ready to handle business; I walk around and see who I can see or who can see me.
Walking around networking, I notice a few fine brothers, alone, sitting at a table holding a conversation, and checking me out. I walk to the bar, order a goose and cranberry and check out the scenery. The bartender fixes my drink and lets me know that it has been paid for, and I don't have to worry about a thing. I smile a little bit; because now I know someone has noticed me out of this crowd, but I don't know who it can be. There are so many people here it can be anyone. I just pray that it's not Calvin.
Sitting at the bar sipping on my drink enjoying the music. I look around and notice a few gentlemen sitting across the way from the bar staring at me. I smile and raise my drink to them, and they do the same in return. I turn back around to face the bar, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see there is this fine, dark, tall and handsome brother sitting next to me. I don't know where he came from, but he is sitting next to me. “How do you like your drink?” he ask. I turn towards him and reply, “Nice and cold.” He starts to laugh and tells me how he loves my sense of humor. I smile and thank him for the drink.
“I noticed you when you walked in, and I have to know your name,” the delightful chocolate man says. I turn and look at him while sipping my drink and say, “My name is Kenya.” He says he finds my name beautiful. The fine, dark brother ask if I would like to join him for the remaining of the evening in order for us to get to know each other better. I look at him and tell him that it would be my pleasure, but no funny business. He grabs my hand, for me to get down out of my seat, whispers in my ear promising to be nothing, but a gentleman. I love the sound of his voice, and of course, he is great on the eyes. We find us a table and continue to enjoy each other company.
I drill him as if I am his drill sergeant. He doesn't mind; he answers the questions without any hesitations. I find out his name is Tyrone; he is thirty three, never been married and has two kids. I am not happy he has two kids; because one thing I know is, with two kids, there is baby mama drama that comes along with it. I try to ignore the fact that he has two kids and concentrate on the positive things, like he is a broker and owns his own home. I am too classy of a woman, and make decent money myself to mess with someone that is broke and can't contribute. After enjoying our conversation for a couple of hours Tyrone asks if it's okay to take me to breakfast. I let him know I am cool with that. He tells me where I can meet him, and he will be waiting on me. The crowd is starting to dwindle down, and people are trying to clean up. Tyrone grabs my hand and tells me to allow him to walk me to my car. I grab his hand, and we talk all the way to the limo. The Limo driver is waiting for me to come out. He pulls up to the door where I am standing, jumps out quickly to open the door. Tyrone puts his hand up, signaling him that he has the door. He opens the door and helps me in the car. Tyrone leans down and tells me that he hopes to see me there. He shuts the door, and I can tell he is talking to the limo driver. The limo driver gets in the car and starts to drive. The Limo driver looks at me through his mirror and says, “Miss Kenya I am ordered to take you to this diner about four blocks from here. Should I proceed to the diner or would you like to go home?” I start to smile because I was wondering what Tyrone had said to him. I think about if for a second, and say he can proceed to the diner. The driver starts to smile and tells me that I'm doing the right thing. I look at him because he don't know me like that to tell me I am doing the right thing. Instead of snapping on him, I smile and thank him for his advice. They say God speaks to you in different ways and maybe this is his way of talking to me.
We pull up at the diner and Tyrone is standing there waiting for me, looking just as good as he did the first time I saw him. We all know that light can make a person look different. I am just glad that my eyes and the alcohol was not deceiving me.
Tyrone knows it's me when I pull up, and a gigantic smile comes across his face. He opens the door for me and helps me out the limo. We walk in the diner, and all eyes are on us. The hostess shows us to our table, gives us the specials of the day and tells us our waitress name. Waiting for our waitress Tyrone thanks me for showing up. He and I both can't believe I am doing this.
For the past few years, all I have been doing is concentrating on my career. I have not been dating or doing the things I use to do. After being in and out of pointless relationships, I want to do something different. This time I am going to take my time and allow love to find me. Maybe love have just found me, but of course, I will not get my hopes up. He might seem nice, but I need to do my research on him first before I can say or call it anything.
The waitress comes and take our drink order and see if we are ready to order. Tyrone ask if I am ready to order. Not sure of what I want, Tyrone tells the waitress to give us a few more minutes. The waitress tells us to take our time, and she will bring our drinks right back to us. While we look over the menu, Tyrone tells me that he is glad that he seen me first. I laugh and ask him what makes him think he was the first person to see me. He tells me he was behind me the entire time, even when I dissed ole boy. I start to chuckle because he seen all of that happen. Tyrone closes his menu and says he had to know who I was; because any woman that can diss a man with class is definitely worth knowing. Now I am a little confused because I'm not understanding why he would want to know someone that disses men. He can see I am confused by the look on my face. Before I can say anything, he leans back and tells me to let him explain. I close my menu to make sure I get all of this. I don't want to miss anything. Tyrone tells me the way I dissed him was classy, elegant and very firm, which means I am a woman with class and love elegant things. I also know how to be firm and speak my mind without belittling a person. This man has my attention now, because he got all of that from a simple diss. Now I want to know what else he thinks he knows about me.
The waitress brings us our drinks and takes our orders. I ask Tyrone why he chose this spot. Tyrone tells me it's one of his favorite spots in town. Him and his grandfather would come eat, at the diner, every Saturday and Sunday morning. Getting to know this man better is making me feel like I am in a dream. Tyrone is way too nice and not your average man. This is the kind of man that every woman wishes would approach her. He has class, can hold a conversation and a perfect gentleman. I pinch the inside of my thigh just to make sure I'm not dreaming. Pinching myself a little too hard, I kick Tyrone. I apologize for kicking him; he looks at me and tells me I am not dreaming. I start to laugh, because now I feel as if he is reading my mind. Not wanting to make it obvious, I ask what he is talking about. He gives a little smirk, takes a sip of his coffee and says “well I know you didn't kick me because of something I said, or because you don't like me; so it has to be because you think you are dreaming. I just want you to know you are not dreaming; I am here with the most beautiful woman in the world.” I turn to look around to see who he is talking about. He starts to laugh and says, “yes, I'm talking about you.” I start blushing and drink my tea hoping that I'm not acting like a school girl.
Our food comes to the table, and the waitress ask if there is anything we need. Tyrone looks at me and ask if I am okay. I tell him that I am good. The waitress walks away and tells us to enjoy. Everything looks good, and now I know why this is one of his favorite spots. We have breakfast and enjoy each other company.
Sitting here talking to Tyrone for hours makes me want to ask him where he's been all my life, but something tells me that as soon as I do he will turn into a toad. I will not mess up a good thing, if it is a good thing, but I can't tell this early in the game.
Tyrone can tell I am starting to get sleepy and tells me that he should let me go get some sleep, but he hopes this won't be the last time he sees me. Not knowing how to react to this, I tell him that I am sure we will see each other again. Tyrone says he doesn't want to see me only when I am out on the town, but he would like to get to know me better. Now I'm flattered, and let him know I believe we can work something out. Tyrone smiles, and say he will enjoy that much and can't wait to see me again. The limo pulls up, and he goes to help me in the car. I am getting ready to get in, and Tyrone grab, and kiss me gently on the forehead and say “I will see you soon.” I look at Tyrone, nod my head and get in the limo.
On the way home, I can't stop thinking how my night turned out. I met some exceptional people, a brilliant man and set up some appointments. Tonight turned out better than I could have ever imagined.
We pull up at the house, and I am exhausted. At this moment, all I want to do is get comfortable, smoke a joint and see what's on television until I fall asleep.
Sitting here thinking about my eventful evening, it comes to me Tyrone doesn't have my number, and I don't have his. Oh well I think to myself. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If he is the one, and he wants me, he will find me. This will show what kind of man he truly is, but until then I am going to work hard and wait for God to send me my husband.
I close my eyes, say my prayers, and listen to the sounds of the television until I am fast asleep.


Did you enjoy the first chapter?
Do you want to continue reading?
What are your views?


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Fast Life Management - Home

Fast Life Management - Home

Come see what's new and tell your friends to come check out my new website. Please feel free to sign the guestbook and let me know what you think. Thank you for all your support.

Monday, February 13, 2012

This weeks events

Hello Fast Life family,

I hope everyone has been enjoying the changes to Livin the Fast Life. I want to continue keeping this sight hot and spontaneous because that's who I am as a person.

Thank you for coming to support Livin the Fast Life. If you haven't joined the fast life family please make sure you do that. You can join us on Facebook or twitter. There are links here to take you directly to both. Thank you again for showing your love and support.

This week we are not going to have discussion on here. We are going to have open discussions on random topics on Facebook and twitter. I want to hear what you have to say. Please make sure that you tune in and join in the discussions. There will also be a special Valentines Day Promo. It will be running the entire day. Make sure you check that out.

I hope that you enjoy your week and Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples out there and to the entire Fast Life Family. We wish you love, peace and joy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Your views....What the people want

Hello Fast Life family,

I hope everyone is having a terrific day and ready to unwind.  Today I am going to keep it simple and find out what you thought about the postings for the past few weeks. In order to continue giving you exciting and interesting topics I have to know what you like and don't like. For all those that participate in the discussions thank you for sharing your views. It really means a lot. I want to make sure that I continue to give you great topics to discuss. This week you will see some very interesting topics and you will also see some featured artist as well. This year we are going to continue to mix things up.  Not only will you be welcomed into my world and see all the things that I have going on in my life but you will also be welcomed into the lives as others, as we continue to support one another. Thank you again for supporting and being a part of the Fast Life family. Each and everyone of you are amazing.

Here are your discussion questions. Please feel free to post your comments. Thank you for your participation and constant support.

What did you think about author's week?
Who was your favorite featured author during author's week and why?
What would you like to ask any of the featured author's?
Would you like to see more featured author's? If so who would you like to see featured?

What did you think about poetry week?
What was your favorite poem and why?
What would you like to ask any of the poets?
Would you like to have poetry week again?

What did you think about music week?
Did you enjoy the music that was posted?
What would you like to ask any of the musicians?
Would you like to see more musicians featured?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Willie Wactor III Affair with Melody

Sounds of a Musician


Come show your love for my friend Willie Wactor III.  Willie is my childhood friend. We grew up in the church together. As long as I have known him music has been his passion. I never knew a sax could sound so good until he played for me. When I tell you that he is a bad man please believe me. He is great at what he does. He plays many other instruments but his sax is his first love. Coming to you with some midwest flava please come and relax your mind and enjoy the sounds of my friend Willie Wactor III.


http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2173998883943

Here are your discussion questions. Please feel free to post your comments and ask Willie about his work and upcoming events. Thank you for your participation and constant support.

What do you think about Affair with Melody?
Have you heard any of Willie's work? If so what is your favorite song?
What would you like to ask Willie?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mike Kid Cos Acquainted

Sounds of a Musician


About Kid Cos

"LOUISVILLE'S KID COS" 

C.E.O. OF STAR STRUCK ENTERPRISES, KY BORN AND RAISED ALSO CONNECTING WITH OTHER ARTISTS/PROMOTERS ALL AROUND IN DIFFERENT CITIES. KID COS HAS BEEN ON THE MUSIC SCENE SINCE "04" HE BEGAN RECORDING AND TAKING HIS PROFESSION VERY SERIOUS AT THE AGE OF 12. IT ALL STARTED WITH RECORDING RAPS ON CASSETTE TAPES WHILE ON THE PORCH, ONCE PRACTICING AND WORKING ON HIS CRAFT EVERYDAY, HE THEN BECAME ONE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S FAVORITE RAPPER BECAUSE OF HIS ABILITY TO RAP ABOUT ALMOST ANYTHING NOT TO MENTION THE SWAG IN WHICH THE WORDS WERE USED. D.C.B (DERBY CITY BOYZ) WAS A GROUP KID COS WAS APART OF WHILE GROWING UP IN THE 38TH BLOCK OF MUHAMMAD ALI BLVD. HE THEN WORKED WITH AWAKEN RECORDS WHICH WAS MANAGED BY "WYDE AWAKE" AFTER HAVING BUSINESS SITUATIONS TAKE A TURN, KID COS THEN STARTED UP HIS OWN COMPANY TITLED "STAR STRUCK ENTERPRISES" WHERE HE HAS BEEN SEEING SUCCESS FROM THAT POINT ON, KID IS A VERY HARD WORKER AND TAKES HIS CAREER VERY SERIOUS. HOPEFULLY YOU ENJOY THE MUSIC PROVIDED AND SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT ONE OF LOUISVILLE'S MOST TALENTED MC'S, HE ALSO IS A CHILD OF GOD.



Here is your discussion questions. Please feel free to post your comments and ask Kid Cos about his work and upcoming events. Thank you for your participation and constant support.

How did you like this song?
Have you ever heard any of Kid Cos work? If so what is your favorite song?
What would you like to ask Kid Cos?

Monday, January 30, 2012

Heartbreaks La'tee Recording Love

Hello Fast Life family,

I am glad to start this week off right.  I have told you that this year we are going to be doing a lot of different things and changing up the game.  For the past couple of weeks you have met some great authors and great poets. Well this week I want to introduce you to some great musicians.  No matter how the words come they all express the way we feel. Please show your love for these wonderful musicians this week. Let's get started. Today we are going to start out with some of that West Coast Flava. Here is a young man coming out of San Bernardino, Ca. doing what he loves to do. Please show your love for Heartbreaks La'tee.


Sounds of a Musician





HEARTBREAK'S LA'TEE

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_11212775


Encouraging words from La'tee

Continue to live your dreams and never allow anyone to tell you what you can't do. Remember that you can do anything you believe in. Continue to work hard and you will succeed.

Here is the website you can find Heartbreaks La'tee if you would like to hear more of his music. Please show your love and feel free to post your comments and ask La'tee about his work and upcoming projects. Thank you for your participation and constant support.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?
u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reverbnation.com%2Fheartbreakslatee&h=NAQFwWHF5

What did you think of Recording Love?
Have you heard any of Heartbreaks La'tee music? If so what's your favorite song?
What would you like to ask Heartbreaks La'tee?

Friday, January 27, 2012

Andre Bell Meditation

Words of a Poet


Meditation
by 
Andre Bell


I cried, I laughed
I’ve sighed and died
But like the phoenix 
From ashes I rise

I have plotted and schemed
manipulated many things
I saw myself as wise
But often played the fool

I flew with eagles
Just to find myself 
Clucking with the chickens 
When the day ended

I broke many records set by men
Only to turn around 
To observe what I just broke 
Being broken again

I wrestled with vanity 
And vainglorious imaginations 
That never became practical 
Because of doubt, inconsistencies, and procrastination 

The world smiled with me 
Only to frown 
When I turned to my own thoughts 
And let it down

I ran a race once
Only to stop and think 
As I thought 
I watched everyone pass me 

I sat in a room 
With all the lights off
Only so I could hear the thoughts of my heart
So that I might be made to be still
Granting me a lease 
On how I made it feel

So that it could disclose to me
Intimately the reflection of me
As it saw me 
Reveling how I need to see me
Many revelations through reevaluations
Took dept rooting themselves 

Budding through germination
Bring about a new elevation
From what would be anxious 
Thoughtless meditations

Andre Bell 2012

Here is your discussion questions. Please feel free to post your comments and ask Andre about his work and upcoming events. Thank you for your participation and constant support.


What are your views on this piece?
Have you read any other poems by Andre? If so what is your favorite?
What would you like to ask Andre?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Candice M. Martin The Box

Words of a Poet



The Box
by
Candice M. Martin


The Box 
Written: December 7, 2004 

Nothing special-no funeral or even a memorial card 
Only tattered clothes and little bone shards. 
Tucked quietly away in a wooden box- 
Of the "buried" family secret, no one talks. 

But in the back yard, beneath the ground- 
There is a box that can be found. 
No cross or stone to mark the spot- 
Never told a soul for fear of getting caught. 

Everything was secretly washed away- 
With no penance to pay. 
All pictures were thrown out as if she didn't exist- 
They figured she wouldn't be missed. 

Only three years old with golden hair and eyes of blue- 
One night against the wall, this child momma threw. 
Drunk and mad like everyday- 
Momma yelled for her to get out of the way. 

But she didn't know where to go- 
So Momma knocked her in the nose. 
When sissy began to cry so loud- 
"I'll give you something to cry about", Momma vowed. 

Sitting at the table, I watched as Momma hit her left and right- 
Sissy cried so much and the blows she tried to fight! 
But she was so little and there was nothing she could do- 
So I jumped up and tried to come to her rescue. 

But Momma looked at me with such evil in her eyes- 
Told me not to even give it a try. 
So I sat back down and watched sissy bleed- 
Every time she cried out, it was as if Momma would feed. 

Momma just kept kicking her and hitting sissy so much- 
Onto the top step sissy clutched. 
Momma knew sissy was trying to run and hide- 
But she wasn't going to swallow her pride. 

She picked up sissy and through her against that wall- 
Then silence fell and sissy didn't try to crawl. 
Lifeless she lay, bloody and bruised- 
Next, I was used. 

Momma said that I wanted to help so much, now I could- 
"Go out back and get some wood!" 
When I came back, it was a box we built- 
Momma thought this would wash away her guilt. 

Into the box, sissy I had to lay and bury her outside- 
Momma said her body we had to hide. 
She threw away all pictures to make it go away- 
But in my mind it will always stay. 

I could never tell a single soul, Momma had said- 
Or I too would wind up dead. 
No one ever asked where sissy went- 
Only Momma and I knew of the box and its contents. 

The box, holding sissy for all these years- 
And Momma filling me with so many fears. 
It's my turn to bury a box once again- 
But this time, Momma's inside and now she'll pay for her sin. 

©2004 Candice Martin


Encouraging words from Candice

 There is always someone you can tell if you are being abused and writing is one of the best therapy's around. It has offered me such healing over the years. Our voice doesn't always have to be vocal it often comes out in our writings and that is when we really find ourselves.

Here are your discussion questions. Please feel free to post your comments and ask Candice about her work and upcoming events. Thank you for your participation and constant support.

What are your views on this piece?
Have you read any of Candice work? If so what is your favorite?
What would you like to ask Candice?