It's been a while since I checked in. I want to say hello and take this time to share another chapter with you from The UnMarritable. It's close to Christmas and I am not able to share the entire book with you. I want to make sure it is perfect before I release it to you. However, here is another chapter from the book I want to share with you. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to share your views with me. The only way to make it better is to hear from those who support me. I don't care if it's good or bad; I want to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your views.
Could it be true Love - Chapter 17
The sun is starting to go down, and we are still relaxing in the quiet spot, alone, on the deck. Not saying much to one another, but admiring the beauty God has created and enjoying the time we are spending together. I am extremely relaxed; Tyrone can't tell if I am quiet or sleep. Tyrone asks; if I am okay. I tell him; I am great and why he asks. He laughs and says, “because baby; you were snoring, and I am making sure you didn't want to go lay down.” I start to laugh. I know; I am extremely relaxed; especially, if I was snoring. I tell Tyrone; to let's have one more drink, and then yes I want to lay down for an hour; before we get ready for dinner.
Tyrone asks; if I made plans for dinner. I am not sure why he is asking, when he already knows I made plans for us earlier when we were at lunch. Then I remember; I have not told him about us having dinner with Carmen and her boyfriend. I start to laugh, and he asks; if I am okay. I tell him; I forgot to tell him; my husband and I were invited to have dinner with Carmen and her boyfriend. He laughs and says, “your husband, huh?” “Yes my husband and I.” He says okay and order us another round of drinks, before we head in for a little while to relax.
I continue to enjoy the scenery, while I wait for Tyrone, to bring the drinks. He hands my drink and sits down. We talk some more and have a wonderful time; just him and I.
I never knew, how much fun it could be, to sit with someone and have a pleasant conversation, without talking about much. The two of you enjoy one another and can feel and understand each other.
We head towards the room, so I can lay down for an hour, before we head to dinner.
When we walk in the door, the room is filled with my favorite flowers. It smells like fresh tulips, and a hint of jasmine all through the room. I start to smile and turn to look at Tyrone. I say thank you. He says; a simple you're welcome, and bows to me. I have never had a man do this for me, or bow to me. I've seen it happen in the movies. Well, the old movies anyway; when there was true love, and everybody wanted it or had it.
I start to pull off my dress; Tyrone walks up to me and says; to allow him to do that for me. I allow him to unzip me, and he slides it off. Before it hits the ground, he grabs it, fold it, and lays it on the chair. I get ready to sit on the bed, but before I do; Tyrone pulls the covers back for me and tells me to get in the bed. I get in the bed and tell him, to don't let me over sleep. He grabs the clock and says; he is setting the alarm. He sits in the chair next to me, turns on the television and turns it low, so I can barely hear it. He leans over, kisses me on the forehead, and tells me to get some rest. I ask; if he is going to join me. He looks at me and says; maybe later. I look at him, say okay and close my eyes. Before I know, I am fast asleep.
I turn over, thinking maybe Tyrone has come to bed and joined me, but he is not here. I look to see if I can see where he has gone, and he is sitting in the chair starring at me. I jump; it makes me nervous to see Tyrone starring at me. He laughs and says, “you were looking for me, weren't you?” I smile and say, “yes.” He tells me; he hasn't left my side. He has been sitting in the chair, watching me sleep. I ask; why he has been starring at me? He says; he wasn't starring; he was admiring my beauty and all the greatness about me. I sit up in the bed and start to smile. He tells me; I still have ten minutes and to lay here and not move. I ask him to come get in bed with me. He takes off his shoes and join me. He tells me to come here, and I rest my head on his chest. Before I know it, I am sleep again.
The way Tyrone makes me feel is amazing, and I hope it never ends. I am anxious, to see what else this man has in store for me. If it's like this, I definitely want to stay on this ride.
I vaguely hear the alarm going off. I don't want to get up; I am very comfortable. I see I am not the only one who is comfortable; Tyrone has fell asleep, as well. I ask Tyrone; if he wants to get up. He opens one eye and says; not really, but since I told Carmen we would have dinner and drinks; that's exactly, what we are going to do; because I am a superstar now, and I can't make my image look bad. I start to laugh, tell him to get up, and stop playing.
We play around and wrestle, before we get up to get dressed. Tyrone looks at me and says; I am his Queen, and he is honored to be in my presence. I don't know what to say; no man has ever said this to me. I lean over, kiss him gently, and tell him; I love him too. He smiles and tells me to go get dressed.
I jump up, and go jump in the shower. This is normally when Tyrone comes to join me; we make love, and then head out; but he is not coming to join me and I am not sure what this is all about. I finish taking my shower and get out. While I am putting on my makeup, brushing my teeth and doing my hair; Tyrone jumps in the shower and starts to get dressed. He can tell there is something wrong with me, but he is playing it cool. I notice; we are doing it his way. I remind myself; I said I would be open to doing things his way. I am going to let things flow; instead of trying to be in control of everything. We finish getting dressed, and Tyrone tells me how beautiful I look. I tell Tyrone he looks very handsome, and we head out the door.
We get to the restaurant, and Carmen and her boyfriend have already got us a table. She stands up, and waves at us; so we can see her. Tyrone and I put on our smiles and walk over to the table. Carmen says; she is glad we made it, and they ordered a bottle of wine. Carmen introduces us to her boyfriend Jamal. Jamal shakes Tyrone hand and tells us to have a seat. You can tell Jamal isn't thrilled he has to be here, but he is doing it for her. He looks at me and says; thank you for taking care of my ole lady earlier. Then he says; she can get out of control sometimes. I look at him and say; no problem, but Tyrone can see this is making me uncomfortable, and Carmen embarrassed. I want to say something to him, but it's not my place. Plus I don't want to get in anyone's business.
Tyrone changes the subject and asks Jamal; what he does for a living. Jamal tells Tyrone; he does a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and he knows how it is.
This is how I know Tyrone is a man about his. He looks at Jamal and says, “no, I don't know how it is. I am a broker, have my own company, and doing quite well for myself; so no, I don't know what a little bit of this, and a little bit of that is.” Jamal looks at Tyrone and sits up in his chair. He wants to say something, but he's not quite sure what to say. He starts to laugh and tells Tyrone; he don't know him. Tyrone looks at him and says, “you're right, my brother; I don't know you; because you don't know yourself.” Jamal is not happy, but he thinks about what Tyrone has said to him.
Carmen and I talk about what she does, and what she wants to do. She tells me; she is a beautician and wants to open up her own business. I tell her; she can do it if she wants, but she has to let go of the dead weight. She looks at me and says; I am right, and she plans to do that.
The entire time we are talking, Jamal never realizes the dead weight we are talking about is him. Tyrone talks to Jamal, so he doesn't feel uncomfortable and out of place. Before I know it, dinner is going better than expected. By the end of the night, we are laughing and having a great time. For the first time, Carmen has seen something in Jamal she has never seen in him. Hanging out with them tonight, has made me realize; I am one lucky woman.
We finish our night out, and Tyrone and I say our good nights and head in for the evening. We get back to the room, have a night cap, and talk about the events of the night.
Tyrone tells me; tonight made him see why so many people love me, and so many people hate me. He says; I am a great person, and never change who I am for anyone. As we talk, Tyrone is getting me comfortable. I haven't lifted a finger or did a thing, and I sit here with my pajamas on and a drink in my hand. This is nice and very unusual for me. He sits in the chair next to me, and we enjoy each other company.
Six o'clock in the morning and we are still laughing and talking about everything. This man is listening to me, and I am listening to him. He is sharing intimate moments with me, and I am sharing intimate moments with him. We are on the same page; he is not judging me, and I am not judging him. This is a great feeling.
I am sleepy, but I feel hungry. I ask Tyrone if he is hungry. He says; he is kinda hungry, and could eat something. Before I can ask what he wants to eat, he is already ordering breakfast.
We go out on the deck, and watch the sun rise; while we wait, on our food to arrive. He holds me gently, as we listen to the waves and the birds chirp. I am having a great time and enjoying myself. I think to myself...Who would've thought things would turn out this good? Then I remember; God knew the entire time.
I lay in his arms and close my eyes. He can tell I am trying to be as close to him, as I can. Without saying a word, he pulls me in as close to him as he can, wraps his arms around me, kisses me on the forehead and says; I love you baby. I look up at him and say those three magical words again and again and again. I can't believe; I have actually said it more than once, and meant it. This man has my attention, and I want to know everything about him. I know a lot, but now we are connected on a deeper level. He is showing me things no other man has ever shown me, and I love every bit of it.
The food comes and Tyrone tips the waiter. He fixes our plate and tells me to come sit down. He pulls my chair out for me, and I sit down. He has already buttered my toast, put butter and sugar in my grits and poured my juice. I am impressed and loving it.
Tyrone is sweet to me when we are at home, but this right here; shows me; he is stepping his game up one hundred and ten percent. I thought I was already spoiled, but now I am really being spoiled, and treated as I should be treated. Like the Queen, I am.
We sit and talk over breakfast; while the sun, continues to find the sky. We are talking, laughing, joking and playing as if this is our first date and we just met each other. Tyrone asks; if I would like to take a shower or a bath and I tell him neither. I just want to go to sleep. He laughs and says, “good; I am glad, I am not the only one.” I start to laugh; he is crazy. We get in the bed; Tyrone kisses me and says goodnight.
I am surprised; he is still not trying to jump my bones, but that's cool with me; I am extremely tired right now, and just want some sleep. I turn over and get comfortable with my man. We cuddle till we fall fast asleep.
Waking up in the middle of the night, startled from a bad dream has made me nervous. It felt as if it was so surreal. Tyrone feels me jump and asks; if I am okay. I want to say yes, but I am not sure. It's as if I am still in a daze. I am not sure if I am in or out of this crazy dream. Tyrone holds me and says; everything is okay; no one will hurt me ever again. I feel the warmth of him, and I start to cry. He holds me and kisses me gently; until I start to feel better. I am not sure what happened, but it was as if Tyrone could feel what I was going through, and wasn't even there. I start to question, if this is possible. If it is possible, does this mean this man is connected to my spirit and my soul?
I start to cry again, and Tyrone continues to hold me. He lays me down and tells me to go back to sleep. I lay down on his chest, and feel the warmth and comfort of his arms. I can hear his heart beat, and notice it is beating in tune with mine. They are beating as one. I have never paid any attention to it, until now. As I listen to his heart beat, I start to calm down and relax. Ten minutes later, I am back to sleep. I sleep straight through, with no problems.
I wake up, to see Tyrone sitting in the chair, starring at me again. I sit up and say good morning. He starts to laugh and says; it's more like good evening. I jump up as if I have somewhere to go, and start running around. He laughs at me and asks; where I am going. I realize I am on vacation; I don't have to be in a hurry, to do anything. I start to laugh, but tell him; it's not funny, and he shouldn't laugh at an overstressed, overwork woman who is doing the best she can. He laughs and says; You are right, so why don't an overstressed, overworked woman come join him and have a seat. I walk over to him; he grabs my hand, and pulls me close to him. He sits me on his lap and tells me how beautiful I am, and how lucky he is to have found me. He tells me; he has been searching high and low looking for me, and the moment he saw me; he knew right away, I was the one for him. I feel like a high school girl again. No man has ever made me feel like this.
As we sit and talk, I ask; if there is anything he would like to do for the evening. He tells me; we are going to order in, and watch movies together; or we can go out on the deck, and watch movies under the moonlight. They both sound good, but I am going to take the one I haven't done before, and that's watch movies on the deck, under the stars, in the middle of the ocean.
Tomorrow, we pull in on land; we will get off and do some shopping and sight seeing. I hope we are not one of those couples who gets left on shore, and no one thinks to look for us.
Right now, I am not going to worry about that. I am going to get myself ready for the movie, and enjoy this sexy, chocolate man who is sharing this beautiful moment with me.
We get dressed and head towards the deck. On the way to the deck, we see Carmen and Jamal.
“Hey girl,” she says.
I tried to keep walking as if I didn't see or hear her, but instead she starts walking my way. Tyrone laughs and under his breath says, “here comes your girlfriend.” I squeeze his hand, as tight as I can, to let him what he said is not funny. He buckles for a slight moment but keeps his smile on his face.
Carmen asks; where we are headed. We tell her; we are headed to go watch a movie. She tells us; it sounds nice, but her and Jamal are going to the lounge to grab a bite to eat and have some drinks. I tell her that is nice, and for them to enjoy themselves. I turn to walk away and she asks if we are sure we would rather watch some boring ass movie; instead of hanging out with them. I see she has missed the point clearly.
I explain to Carmen; it is not that we don't want to hang out, but right now we are getting our alone time. Carmen winks at me and says; she understands. I see she is still missing the point, and there is no reason for me to continue to explain something to her; she is never going to get, until she gets my age and go through the things most women have already experienced.
I tell Carmen; we will catch her later, and proceed to head towards the deck. Tyrone is laughing like crazy; he can't believe how I just did her. I was not trying to be rude, but I did not come on this vacation, to meet friends or throw my fame around. I came on this vacation because I needed to relax and spend some alone time with my man. After I explain myself to Tyrone, he says; he completely understand; he is not going anywhere, and we can do whatever I want to do. If that means hanging with Carmen and Jamal, then so be it. I laugh; he has plenty of jokes. He says; he is not being funny, but wants me to know; whatever I want to do, he is game.
I love the fact he wants to compromise, although he said we were going to do things his way. He is showing me; he is not letting me give up my control, and he is still allowing me to be me.
Letting Tyrone know, I want to go watch a movie on the big screen,
on the deck, in the middle of the ocean with him; He looks at me, grabs my hand and takes off running. I am not expecting us to do any running; it throws me off guard now that we are running down this hall way. We get to the deck, and the movie has not started yet, but they are telling people to find a seat. Tyrone spots us some excellent seats. We are in the back, close to the rail, in a corner, with a table. We are between the bar and the table. It is a great spot. We can see the screen well, relax comfortably, get us a drink without having to get up or wait on a waiter/waitress, to come to us, and no one can see us; if we do start to do some hanky panky.
Tyrone asks; if this is a good spot, or if I want to move somewhere else. Before he can get it out good enough, I have already sat down, and I am waiting for him to sit down.
The bartender leans over, and ask what we would like to drink. Tyrone orders our drinks and the bartender tells us; we have the best seats in the house. We are glad to know we have the best seats. This is going to be a lovely evening. Our bartender is cool, and everything is perfect.
The deck fill up with people. The advertising comes on the screen, telling everyone where to go; should there be an emergency, or if we need something to drink or eat. I see the waiters and waitresses running around trying to get everybody order. It's a good thing; we are close to the bar, and we have already put in our order. The bartender just handed us our drinks and told us the food will be out in about five or ten minutes. He gives us chips, salsa, and a bowl of queso; while we wait on our food and enjoy the movie.
Right before, the movie is about to start, I hear somebody calling my name. I can tell by the voice who it is, but because where we are sitting, she can't see us. I don't stand up, to show her where we are. I hear her tell Jamal; she is trying to find us, so they can sit with us. I tell Tyrone to hold his head down, and keep the menu in front of us; so they don't spot us. He laughs and says; he has never had to go undercover. I laugh and say; we are not undercover; we are just hiding. He laughs and says; that's even worse. Once I think about it, I know he is right, but right now I don't feel like being bothered, and I want to spend my time with my man. I don't want to double date.
Maybe, I am being a little selfish; when I know this is what I do. I help women become better individuals, and make better decisions in life. The thing that gets me the most is; once I meet them, they cling to me. Sometimes that is okay, but there are times I need my space.
I see Carmen and Jamal standing in front of us, really looking. She never turns around. Instead, she says; “maybe they changed their mind and decided to do something else”. I am glad she thinks like this; now she will stop looking for us. She turns, walk away, and Jamal is right behind her; looking like a lost puppy, and ready to curse her out at the same time.
Tyrone asks; if the coast is clear. I tell him; he can put the menu down. He laughs and says; that was a close call. We start to laugh and get ready for our movie. All the lights go out; except for the little light the bartender has to see with, and the light from the projector screen. I hear the sound of the night, but it is pitch black. The movie is about to start, and no one knows what's about to show. We ask the bartender, what movie they are about to show. He tells us; he is not sure. Every night they show a different movie, and he is not sure what is in the line up for this week. Tyrone looks at me, and I look at him. We start to laugh; now, we really can't wait to see what they are going to show.
The waiters and waitresses are almost finished serving the food, and the movie is starting to roll. We are watching, but we are still not sure what movie we are about to see. We hope it is something good. Than, we realize they are about to show us The Titanic. Tyrone and I both bust out laughing and say, “Oh hell naw. We are not about to watch Titanic”. The bartender starts to laugh and tells us; the next drink is on him if we stay and keep him company.
Once, the other patrons realize we are about to watch the Titanic; a lot of people start to get up, and go other places. Because the majority of
the people are starting to leave, we decide we will stay and hang out with the bartender.
We find out Kemper is from Jamaica, and has been working for the cruise line for five years. He tells us; he is putting himself through school, and how important it is for him to finish and get his degree. He will be the first in his family, to go to college. He starts to tell us about his culture and his family. He also tells us; he sends his family money every check he gets, and solely relies on tips to live. His story is touching and sad at the same time. I can tell; Tyrone and I are thinking the same thing. Instead of saying anything, Tyrone reaches in his pocket and gives him one thousand dollars; tells him to take care of himself, and go buy him something nice. Kemper is excited, appreciative, and hesitant to take it at the same time. Kemper tells Tyrone; he doesn't want his money; he is just enjoying having someone to talk to, who is not all tight and stuffy. Tyrone assures him; it is okay for him to take it. Kemper is still not taking the money. Instead, Tyrone tells him; he will not fuss or fight with him. Instead, Tyrone puts the money in the tip jar that has Kemper name on it. Kemper thanks Tyrone with a handshake, and then realizes the handshake is not enough. He gives Tyrone the biggest hug and says; he will never forget him. Tyrone gives Kemper his number and tells him; he can call him to talk sometimes if he needs. Kemper looks at Tyrone with a smile and says; he will surely do that. He fixes us another round of drinks he has come up with and tells us to relax and enjoy the evening.
Tyrone looks at me, and I give him that you are the best smile. He leans over, kisses me and says; I am the best, and he is glad we are together. I tell him; he is the best, and thank you for being so loving and caring. He lets me know, he is just being him. I know he is one of a kind, and he is here with me.
We enjoy the rest of the night, with good conversation and no unnecessary drama. Sitting here talking to Kemper, and enjoying the night with Tyrone has made me realize how far I have come and how blessed I truly am. Not in a million years would I have thought, I was worthy of a man as sweet, kind, gentle, compassionate, lovable, understanding, funny, strong, sensitive, and smart as the man I have next to me.
I know I have to open myself up, to receive love again. Yes, at first I was scared and very nervous; although this man has showed me nothing but the up most respect and love. I have tried time and time again, to find a reason to give this man my love, or myself, and time and time again he has proven to me that he will not give up, and will not change the way he feels about me.
Part of me, wants to tell him to ask me to marry him again, but part of me wants to ask him to marry me. Of course, I have that strong part I continue to fight with, as most women do, telling me to don't do either. To continue to live the way we are living, and enjoy the moment; because marriage just complicates things.
Maybe, this is why I am still the unmarritable. I continue to tell myself, something is wrong, and they will mess up; instead of taking a chance. I have
told many I would marry them, but part of me was hoping they would do something, to make me want to get out of it. Fortunately for me, it worked out great; they all turned out to be straight jackasses. I don't think any of them truly loved me, until I was gone and then they realized how much I meant to them. Am I blocking myself from this precious man? Maybe, I am waiting for the right time. Yes, I am protecting myself from being hurt. Maybe, these are the excuses I keep telling myself. I don't know what the problem may be, but I do know; I have to figure it out and figure it out soon.
I don't want Tyrone to wait on me forever, and I don't want to make him feel as if I am not sure if I love him or not, either. My heart and soul tells me; I love him, but my head is telling me to be cautious. These are the moments I wish I could talk to my girls. Only if, the prices weren't so high out here, I probably would.
Tyrone and Kemper are caught up in the discussion; he hadn't noticed I wasn't listening to him, until he starts asking me questions. I am caught up in my thoughts; I don't hear Tyrone calling my name. After the third time, of saying my name, he shakes me and asks; if I am okay. I am startled by the shake, but start to smile. Tyrone asks; if I am drunk. I tell him; I am not drunk yet, but almost. He laughs and asks; if I would like to have one more drink, before the bar close. I tell him; I would love to have another drink. Tyrone tells the bartender to fix me something else. Kemper says; he is going to fix us something so good and so strong; we will have to take them to go. I start to laugh; now, I am worried about what he is putting in this drink.
We watch Kemper as he fixes our drinks. I notice; he put vodka, triple sec, silver 1800, coconut rum, orange juice and a splash of cranberry juice. Watching him make this drink, is making me drunk as hell. I lean over and tell Tyrone; I am not going to start drinking that until I get to the room. Kemper says; to do just that because the Jamaican punch will definitely knock you out.
Kemper shakes the ingredients well and pours it into a couple of tall glasses. These are not your ordinary tall glasses. These are extremely tall
glasses. This is definitely a lot to drink. Kemper dresses up the glass with a pineapple and strawberry slice and a cute umbrella and tell us to enjoy. I take a sip of it, and it has a kick to it, but is extremely good. After one sip; I can feel it working. I am nervous about taking another sip, although I want to drink this entire glass. Kemper is trying to convince me to take another sip, while Tyrone is sitting here laughing and watching, to see if I am going to take another sip. I look at them, say; I'm cool and about to call it a night. They both start to laugh, give each other fives, and say there goodbyes till the next day. As we are on our way out, we hear Kemper say, “Enjoy and don't do anything I wouldn't do”. Tyrone turns around and says; we will try not to, but I can't make any promises. Kemper laughs and shuts the door; so he can clean up the area for the next day.
We are on our way to the room, and I feel like dancing, and making sweet, passionate love to my man.
Although, this is what I want to do; I remember; we are doing things
his way. Instead of going all in; I wait, to see what he has in store for us.
We pass by the night club, and they are still jamming. I stop to see what they are playing, and see if I want to go dancing or if I want to go to the room. I hear a song I like, playing and I am about to go inside. Before I open the door, something comes over me and tells me; Carmen and Jamal is in there. I stop in mid stride; right now, I don't feel like putting up with them. I am tipsy and feeling good; I would like to keep it that way.
I turn around and head towards the room. Tyrone asks why I turned away, and if I am ready to head back to the room. I tell Tyrone; I don't want to go in the club, because something tells me; Carmen and Jamal are in there. He laughs and says; I am probably right. We head towards the room.
We get to the room, and I am not sure what to expect; but to my surprise Tyrone does the same thing he did last night. He gets me comfortable, then he gets himself comfortable, and we sit and enjoy each other company.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying I don't enjoy his company, but right now I am in the mood, to make love to him over and over again. I want to ask him, but I can't. I told Tyrone we would try things his way. Now I hate I opened my big mouth and said anything.
I chuckle, and Tyrone asks if I would care to share. I am too embarrassed to share with him what I am thinking; so I made up something, out the blue. He kinda chuckled, but I can tell he is not buying it, but he is going with the flow. I change the subject real fast and ask if there is anything he wants to do, while we are docked. He says; there are a few things he has planned for us, so I need to get my rest. I tell Tyrone I will go to sleep, after I finish the rest of my Jamaican punch. He laughs, shakes his head, and says; “whatever my Queen wants”. I continue to sip on my drink, and we continue to enjoy each other company.
Tyrone finishes his drink first and waits on me, to finish mine. I want to gulp it down real quick, but I can't; it is entirely too strong for little ole me.
Tyrone can tell I am trying to hurry up and drink it. He laughs and tells me to slow down; we are not in a hurry. I want to tell him; I am, but then I remember; we are doing things his way. I have to keep telling myself this over and over; I want to do things my way, and I see it is not working for me. This time, I am going to try it his way and see if it works out better for me. Maybe, I will learn or take something from this experience. Only time will tell.
Tyrone tells me to slow down and take my time; he doesn't want me to be drunk or have a hangover in the morning. I start to laugh; I know this is true. He knows me oh so well. I slow down, continue to sip my drink the way I was, and enjoy the conversation with my man.
While we are talking, he gets on the floor, grab my feet, and start massaging my feet; without missing a word or a beat. I am starring at him; part of me is in awe. The fact that he is doing this, the way he did it, and he is still showing me that he is paying attention to every word I say.
We continue to talk, I enjoy the massage he is giving me, and sip on my Jamaican Punch. Right now, I feel as if I am in heaven. I have forgotten I want to make love to him. I feel as if I have had a multiple orgasm, and never took my clothes off. Who would've known, a foot massage could feel so damn good.
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